I'm the Ukulele Vagabond Gregory Cooks the name
I strum the Ukulele with no Ukulele shame
And when iv finished strumming i just pick it up again
My soul is from Hawaii and George formbys on my brain

Quieten down you little Shite we only live upstairs
The sound of Ukulele hurts our bloody boring ears
Iv never heard such a din in all my 50 years
Your blasted ukulele brings us Ukulele tears.

I’m a ukulele rebel, Ukulele anarchist
Ill strum the Ukulele til im ukulele pissed
I dream of better times, when we’re free to just exist
Our liberty gone societies wrong its messed up in insist

Knock Knock Knock stop playing that thing you noisy little runt
Your no Hawaiian singer your a ukulele ****
Your lack of musical ability we always bear the brunt
So quit that awful strumming and your singing cos you can’t

Well I'm a ukulele savage I'm a Ukulele beast
I drink the blood of neighbours at my ukulele feast
And after 10 PM when my ukulelings Ceast
Ill sling my strap back on and play til 10 15 at least.

Knock knock knock can’t get your stupid music out my head
Your no Hawaiian singer your a ukulele pleb
Stop that awful playing and be careful how u tread
I dream of peaceful days when the ukuleles dead

I’m a Ukulele rastaman i love to burn one down
I’ll play the Uke so loud that ill be heard in Kingston town
I do not earn no money not a penny not a pound
I just strum my ukulele to that reggae music sound.

Quieten down you little swine your getting on my nerves
Were trying to hear some real music by watching X-factor
Listen to me lady upstairs just give music a chance
While folks like you just watch TV, folks like me sing and dance

Negative vibes flow down and break my ukulele trance
So stop your fiercely militant anti-ukulele stance