At Voodoo lounge the local Plymouth, drinkers shrine
Myself and my friend Dan sat at a quarter to 9
The night had been real scarey but the mood was still fine
Cruising bars in Plymouth just to have a good time
When suddenly out of nowhere, they get some bad news
Thats why im standing here belting out the leaky tap blues

My dealers getting lairy cos he hasn’t been paid
My best friends on a mission just to get himself laid
The landlord rings my phone and his voice sounds dismayed
The tap has burst and run down all three floors im afraid
I run back to my bedroom, its all down my walls
The roof is fucking pissing like niagra falls

My leeky tap has just ruined my Wednesday night
The landlord tries to fix it he’ll be up all night
The ceilings fucking sodden and the bedrooms a sight
I try to keep my cool and just act calm and polite
The bedrooms like Atlantis, you could captain a cruise
That’s why I’m standing here singing about the leeky tap blues


Christopher my flat mates at his girlfriend’s house
They were getting kind of frisky, as he took off her blouse
He struggled with her bra while sipping famous grouse
A normal night at home with his redhead spouse
They get the ghastly phone call, around quarter pass
He tried to change his trousers but fell flat on his ass


He fumbled out her front door about 9 24
The rain fell down in showers and the thunder did roar
A shocking sight awaited him through his bedroom door
He sighed at his misfortune under his breath he swore
It poured out of his ceiling, and onto his floor
His bed was even wetter then he left it before

My leeky tap has just ruined my Wednesday night
The landlord tries to fix it he’ll be up all night
The ceilings fucking sodden and the bedrooms a sight
I try to keep my cool and just act calm and polite
The bedrooms like Atlantis, you could captain a cruise
That’s why I’m standing here singing about the leeky tap blues

The floorboards need replacing and the ceiling is damp
I’m sleeping on my friend’s sofa like a drifter or tramp
To all my bros and sisters at the leaky tap camp
Ill sing it loud and proud through my custom made amp
The problem will be fixed; we’ll be back at home soon
Fingers crossed that’ll be the end of our plumbing misfortune

My leeky tap has just ruined my Wednesday night
The landlord tries to fix it he’ll be up all night
The ceilings fucking sodden and the bedrooms a sight
I try to keep my cool and just act calm and polite
The bedrooms like Atlantis, you could captain a cruise
That’s why I’m standing here singing about the leeky tap blues