1. |
Ukulele Eviction Notice
04:45
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I'm the Ukulele Vagabond Gregory Cooks the name
I strum the Ukulele with no Ukulele shame
And when iv finished strumming i just pick it up again
My soul is from Hawaii and George formbys on my brain
Quieten down you little Shite we only live upstairs
The sound of Ukulele hurts our bloody boring ears
Iv never heard such a din in all my 50 years
Your blasted ukulele brings us Ukulele tears.
I’m a ukulele rebel, Ukulele anarchist
Ill strum the Ukulele til im ukulele pissed
I dream of better times, when we’re free to just exist
Our liberty gone societies wrong its messed up in insist
Knock Knock Knock stop playing that thing you noisy little runt
Your no Hawaiian singer your a ukulele ****
Your lack of musical ability we always bear the brunt
So quit that awful strumming and your singing cos you can’t
Well I'm a ukulele savage I'm a Ukulele beast
I drink the blood of neighbours at my ukulele feast
And after 10 PM when my ukulelings Ceast
Ill sling my strap back on and play til 10 15 at least.
Knock knock knock can’t get your stupid music out my head
Your no Hawaiian singer your a ukulele pleb
Stop that awful playing and be careful how u tread
I dream of peaceful days when the ukuleles dead
I’m a Ukulele rastaman i love to burn one down
I’ll play the Uke so loud that ill be heard in Kingston town
I do not earn no money not a penny not a pound
I just strum my ukulele to that reggae music sound.
Quieten down you little swine your getting on my nerves
Were trying to hear some real music by watching X-factor
Listen to me lady upstairs just give music a chance
While folks like you just watch TV, folks like me sing and dance
Negative vibes flow down and break my ukulele trance
So stop your fiercely militant anti-ukulele stance
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2. |
Compassion
04:02
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Ill try my hand at reggae music, Why not
Its not my normal tempo but ill give it a shot.
Rasta rhythms keep me jigging pumping out my stereo
Singing about the world and how we ought to know.
About injustices occurring on a daily basis.
People going about their day with frowns on their faces.
Social values stagnant need a new beginning.
There's only one song we should be singing.
Live your life in a compassionate fashion
Don’t blindly folla the dollar, folla your dreams and your passion
Money will get you so far let your love be your guide
Through the broken society we see outside.
Normal rights eroded by them hour by hour.
Decadent fools from public schools in positions of power.
Their hearts are twisted, outlook warped, their morals are sour.
While politicians make their rules the people cower.
Some do not feel listened to when they speak.
Passive disillusionment their outlook bleak.
Corporate support and lack of real thought, share-holders kept sweet.
But who is there to represent the poor and weak.
Live your life in a compassionate fashion
Don’t blindly folla the dollar, folla your dreams and your passion
Money will get you so far let your love be your guide
Through the broken society we see outside
They take our human rights bill, they following their own will.
Their welfare cuts and boom and bust are making me feel ill.
A thoughtful peaceful attitude is what we need.
Turn yourselves away from the contempt and greed
We need fresh ideas, we need conscious thought.
Instead we get an election which is easily bought.
The richest back their bitches on the campaign trail
The poorest boats don’t stay afloat the wealthy’s sail
Live your life in a compassionate fashion
Don’t blindly folla the dollar, folla your dreams and your passion
Money will get you so far let your love be your guide
Through the broken society we see outside
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3. |
Leaky Tap Blues
04:32
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At Voodoo lounge the local Plymouth, drinkers shrine
Myself and my friend Dan sat at a quarter to 9
The night had been real scarey but the mood was still fine
Cruising bars in Plymouth just to have a good time
When suddenly out of nowhere, they get some bad news
Thats why im standing here belting out the leaky tap blues
My dealers getting lairy cos he hasn’t been paid
My best friends on a mission just to get himself laid
The landlord rings my phone and his voice sounds dismayed
The tap has burst and run down all three floors im afraid
I run back to my bedroom, its all down my walls
The roof is fucking pissing like niagra falls
My leeky tap has just ruined my Wednesday night
The landlord tries to fix it he’ll be up all night
The ceilings fucking sodden and the bedrooms a sight
I try to keep my cool and just act calm and polite
The bedrooms like Atlantis, you could captain a cruise
That’s why I’m standing here singing about the leeky tap blues
Christopher my flat mates at his girlfriend’s house
They were getting kind of frisky, as he took off her blouse
He struggled with her bra while sipping famous grouse
A normal night at home with his redhead spouse
They get the ghastly phone call, around quarter pass
He tried to change his trousers but fell flat on his ass
He fumbled out her front door about 9 24
The rain fell down in showers and the thunder did roar
A shocking sight awaited him through his bedroom door
He sighed at his misfortune under his breath he swore
It poured out of his ceiling, and onto his floor
His bed was even wetter then he left it before
My leeky tap has just ruined my Wednesday night
The landlord tries to fix it he’ll be up all night
The ceilings fucking sodden and the bedrooms a sight
I try to keep my cool and just act calm and polite
The bedrooms like Atlantis, you could captain a cruise
That’s why I’m standing here singing about the leeky tap blues
The floorboards need replacing and the ceiling is damp
I’m sleeping on my friend’s sofa like a drifter or tramp
To all my bros and sisters at the leaky tap camp
Ill sing it loud and proud through my custom made amp
The problem will be fixed; we’ll be back at home soon
Fingers crossed that’ll be the end of our plumbing misfortune
My leeky tap has just ruined my Wednesday night
The landlord tries to fix it he’ll be up all night
The ceilings fucking sodden and the bedrooms a sight
I try to keep my cool and just act calm and polite
The bedrooms like Atlantis, you could captain a cruise
That’s why I’m standing here singing about the leeky tap blues
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4. |
Travellers Calypso
03:59
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We search the whole world over for experience anew.
We follow freedom instincts when our travel we pursue.
We tell ourselves its healthy and it broadens our world view.
But no one seems to question whether that is really true?
Is there really paradise or just a state of mind,
It’s time for me to take a trip to see what I can find,
Away from all the cities stress, ill finally unwind
A fresh new way of island of island life ill find my soul aligned
I'v danced away so many nights to oh so many bands
I'v found myself on empty beaches soft, white golden sands
I'v travelled round the world seeking far and distant lands
A ruckack on my back and ukulele in my hands
Is there really paradise or just a state of mind,
It’s time for me to take a trip to see what I can find,
Away from all the cities stress, ill finally unwind
A fresh new way of island of island life ill find my soul aligned.
Will Hawaii be the place i'v wished for in my dreams
A Calm and tranquil island with a ukulele theme
Beaches long and empty and the atmosphere serene
Turquoise oceans, cloudless skies and rivers clear and clean
Is there really paradise or just a state of mind,
It’s time for me to take a trip to see what I can find,
Away from all the cities stress, ill finally unwind
A fresh new way of island of island life ill find my soul aligned
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5. |
Ukulady
03:25
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I may not have a lady but iv got my ukulele
In my darkest hours her dulcet tones reach through the fog and save me
She never gives me grief and she never acts that crazy
She always gives me blessings and she never calls me lazy
One fateful night a lonely Greg all by himself did shout
A lonesome weary traveller with nobody about
While he stared into her fretboard, she gave a ukulele pout
He grabbed her body passionately and fucking strummed one out
I may not have a lady but iv got my ukulele
In my darkest hours her dulcet tones reach through the fog and save me
She never gives me grief and she never acts that crazy
She always gives me blessings and she never calls me lazy
Cos she’s my Ukulele princess, she's my ukulele Queen.
Ill have us both locked down in ukulele quarantine.
She never seems to question where iv been or who iv seen.
We’re the undisputed leaders of our ukulele scene.
I may not have a lady but iv got my ukulele
In my darkest hours her dulcet tones reach through the fog and save me
She never gives me grief and she never acts that crazy
She always gives me blessings and she never calls me lazy
When you love your Uke so openly, you get some funny stares.
She's a self confessed free spirit with no ukulele cares.
Her tuneful spontaneity will catch you unawares.
She smiles and shrugs her shoulders and this is what she says, she says.
I may not have a lady but iv got my ukulele
In my darkest hours her dulcet tones reach through the fog and save me
She never gives me grief and she never acts that crazy
She always gives me blessings and she never calls me lazy
she says
I love her curves, I love her rhythm, love her rounded oak carved trunk.
She plays blues and jazz and soul and country, folk and dance and funk.
She's an artist in her own right, not a gui-tar that's been shrunk
She's my ukulele babe and I'm her ukulele hunk.
I may not have a lady but iv got my ukulele
In my darkest hours her dulcet tones reach through the fog and save me
She never gives me grief and she never acts that crazy
She always gives me blessings and she never calls me lazy
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6. |
Fruitarian
05:37
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My name Paul and I’m an awkward dinner guest.
The food i eat no veg, no meat just pear tree best interest.
Never eat your tainted food fruitarian you’ve guessed.
My friends just aren't as militant, they cheat they have confessed.
They shake the trees so violently the fruits just fall straight down.
Apples don’t show their discontent cos apple trees can’t frown.
They Shed their fruits way before they fall off by themselves.
Don't castrate a plum trees plums, respect the plants good health.
My friends sing...
Nudge that tree you dirty stinking hippie.
Nudge that tree we need a juicy peach.
That fruit just ain’t a falling.
My hungry stomachs calling.
My ethical limits have been reached.
The Commune got divided, ideology was split.
While some folks shook the fruit tree, others just stared at it.
They ate so well their stomachs swelled their cloths no longer fit.
While Paul and his companions, just ate a little bit.
They waited for the fruits to fall but others shook them off.
Some led lives of gluttony, they never had enough.
For them their life was easy, but for others it was tough.
The wealthy looked real healthy and the poor looked fucking rough.
Nudge that tree you dirty stinking hippie.
Nudge that tree we need a juicy peach.
That fruit just ain’t a falling.
My hungry stomachs calling.
My ethical limits have been reached.
All you fruitarians, stop staring at those fruit trees.
Your scaring them, your scaring them.
All you fruitarians, stop staring at those fruit trees.
Your scaring them, your scaring them.
All you fruitarians, stop staring at those fruit trees.
Your scaring them, your scaring them fruitarians.
All you fruitarians, stop staring at those fruit trees.
Your scaring them your scaring them, Fruitarians.
So what have we all learnt, from this metaphor or story.
While modest folks will suffer, the greedy get the glory.
Our leaders govern selfishly, they do not govern for me.
The wealthy cliques of politics... Just simply bore me.
Conduct yourself with empathy, respect the world we live in.
Stand up for the vulnerable, equality's a given.
See beyond a persons looks, their real essence is within.
Have altruism as your guide and don’t be money driven....
Nudge that tree you dirty stinking hippie.
Nudge that tree we need a juicy peach.
That fruit just ain’t a falling.
My hungry stomachs calling.
My ethical limits have been reached.
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7. |
Asking me to Dance
03:32
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My feet are saying something. They're asking me to dance.
They're always sore from working hard they never get the chance.
My lungs are sick of breathing, this toxic city air.
I do not even own a car it seems to me unfair.
My spirits saying something, it wants a life anew.
It's so confined by mundane life it doesn't know what's true.
My mind is wrought with worry, although everything is fine.
A fear of being penalised when you step out of line
The festivals will give us, A sense of sweet release.
But why are our lives not infused with endless inner peace.
So if you don't like working, a job that you despise.
A long work day for meagre pay is slavery in disguise.
My ears are hearing something, that has been heard before.
The crimes of the wealthy, scapegoated on the poor.
They blame the immigration or those on benefits.
They'd rather cut the public funds then cease the bankers assets.
My eyes are seeing something, reported by the news.
Illegal wars for no just cause the poor are bound to loose.
Deceit and lies to justify their military aims.
Civilian toil for corporate oil and rich shareholder gains.
The festivals will give us, A sense of sweet release.
But why are our lives not infused with endless inner peace.
So if you don't like working, a job that you despise.
A long work day for meagre pay is slavery in disguise.
Whoa Whoa
My feet are saying something and they're asking me to dance.
Whoa Whoa
My feet are saying something but they never get the chance.
My heart is saying something, it wants a new way out.
This lonely isolation isn't what life's all about.
Society's fragmented and our doors are locked and shut.
They sell us pointless items to appease consumer glut.
Possessions arn't important there's a world out there to see.
Deny the individual embrace community.
Cast your cautiousness aside and open your front door.
Be open loving joyful and see what life has in store.
The festivals will give us, A sense of sweet release.
But why are our lives not infused with endless inner peace.
So if you don't like working, a job that you despise.
A long work day for meagre pay is slavery in disguise.
Whoa Whoa
My feet are saying something and they're asking me to dance.
Whoa Whoa
My feet are saying something but they never get the chance.
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8. |
Droppout
05:13
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I did something real bold today, quit my university.
What the hell will my parents say I don’t know.
Employment prospects looking bleak, a new career path i must seek.
But that can wait until next week cos its a lovely day.
Oh my confidence is up and down, sometimes I smile and then i frown.
Im still wearing my dressing gown and its hours past midday.
Im feeling sad and i need some hugs, cos on Saturday night I took some drugs.
But thats not why i quit my course but it probably didn’t help. Cos
Im free, im free theres less hard work for me.
My unis done lets have some fun lets party.
I’m free, I’v freed my creativity.
We’ll write some songs, we’ll do no wrong, we’ll dance the night away.
I’m free, Im free and freedom isn’t lost on me.
My inner child is hyper and my rock stars off his tree.
I’m free, I’m free. From that hard work and strife.
Ill set my sights on brighter days and really live my life.
Our time is precious, make it count, play safe and know that no amount.
Of money makes you satisfied, your loved ones hold the key.
Work hard so we can make the bills, overlook our social ills
Work and strain for little gain, the cost of living rises.
Some people loose themselves for years, dissatisfied by their careers.
Free spirits confined, by a schedule with too little time.
Find a new way out again, search for peace and find your zen.
Spent time with family and friends, and revel in the glory of being.
Im free, im free theres less hard work for me.
My unis done lets have some fun lets party.
I’m free, I’v freed my creativity.
We’ll write some songs, we’ll do no wrong, we’ll dance the night away.
I’m free, Im free and freedom isn’t lost on me.
My inner child is hyper and my rock stars off his tree.
I’m free, I’m free. From that hard work and strife.
Ill set my sights on brighter days and really live.
When I rest my weary head, I’ll close my eyes and sleep instead
Of worrying about what work to do tomorrow.
Part of me needs to progress, most of me don’t need to stress
Life is for enjoyment not for squandering away
After all I think ill find some better way to spend my time
Away from Uni libraries and computer screens so bright.
The service that you must enlist is ukulele therapist
If you wanna lead the good life, and revel in the glory of being.
Im free, im free theres less hard work for me.
My unis done lets have some fun lets party.
I’m free, I’v freed my creativity.
We’ll write some songs, we’ll do no wrong, we’ll dance the night away.
I’m free, Im free and freedom isn’t lost on me.
My inner child is hyper and my rock stars off his tree.
I’m free, I’m free. From that hard work and strife.
Ill set my sights on brighter days and really live my life.
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9. |
Jack Saxby
02:25
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Your sat there in your office and you like to wield your power.
Your paying all your staff a meger 6.50 an hour.
You used to act real nice, now your turning kind of sour.
Please give me more money Jack Saxby
Oh i cant afford the rent and i cant afford new shoes
While Father gets more money all your on shift staff they lose.
Your really kind of stingy and your morals misconstrued.
I hope this song don’t lead onto an angry Saxby Feud
I walked into my coop for to buy myself a drink
My bank balance dyer and my finance on the brink
I cant afford a pepsi or to fix my kitchen sink.
My choice of job has left me with an overdraft i think.
I cant afford the rent and i cant afford new shoes
While Father gets more money all your on shift staff they loose
Your really kind of stingy and your morals misconstrued
I hope this song don’t lead onto an angry Saxby feud
I used to earn more money in my days of mowing lawns
I like my job but should i find a new one now i’m torn.
My decent wage has disappeared like Andrew Early’s prawns
Please give me more money Jack Saxby
I cant afford the rent and i cant afford new shoes
While Father gets more money all your on shift staff they loose
Your really kind of stingy and your morals misconstrued
I hope this song don’t lead onto an angry Pashby feud
Please give me more money Jack Saxby
I can't afford the rent, I cant afford new shoes
Please give me more money Jack Saxby
While father gets more money all your onshift staff they loose.
Please give me more money Jack Saxby
Ladadadadida
Please give me more money Jack Saxby
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10. |
Drinkers Balad
03:50
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Some days we tend to ponder, the world in all its glory
Whether science or religion, is your creation story
Some days we talk of politics, of labour greens or torys
Or of the worlds bad sickness, how society is poorly
Some days we paint great works of art, straight off while barely blinking
Then off to the tavern we then go and several pints we’re sinking
Somedays we get ourselves tied up in DMCs and thinking
Other days we fall back on our good old friend called drinking
My visions blurry, balance off its only ten to ten
A few of my work collegues’ll never talk to me again
I’v found my way into a pub of leery drunk old men
And I’m seriously considering going home with one of them
Some days we end up yearning for a spiritual life of rest
We tell ourselves a zenful life is in out best interest
Our soulful guiding presence leads the way and we feel blessed
We meditate and feel real great don’t last long cos you’ve guessed
Some days we paint great works of art, straight off while barely blinking
Then off to the tavern we then go and several pints we’re sinking
Somedays we get ourselves tied up in DMCs and thinking
Other days we fall back on our good old friend called drinking
My visions blurry, balance off its only 9:15
I’v dropped a tab of acid, it feels like im in a dream
I’m on a massive bender with a man called Charlie sheen
It feels as if im winning but iv caused a fucking scene
Somedays we write good music indulge our creative flare
We freely pour our hearts out like we haven’t got a care
We sing ourselves a love song bout that bonny girl so fair
Or how wer’re getting older and we feel our wear and tear
Some days we paint great works of art, straight off while barely blinking
Then off to the tavern we then go and several pints we’re sinking
Somedays we get ourselves tied up in DMCs and thinking
Other days we fall back on our good old friend called drinking
My visions blurry, balance off its eleven forty five
My innate sense of dignity has crawled away and died
The rules of all these pubs and clubs i just cannot abide
They all refuse me entry so I hang around outside
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11. |
Waging a War (Ganga)
05:26
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Government came and they stolen all my Ganga. Flickadoo-da-deh
Now Iv got to spend some more to buy some more from the drug man. And you hear them say.
There's No point to legalise it, It would send the world into crisis.
They're waging a war that has had its day.
I'm working long hard day got to keep my outlook bright.
I exercise and eat well make my body feel right.
But sometime in the week when my workday ends.
I choose to puff the sensi, listen tunes with my friends.
There breaking down our doors but its not a moral crime.
Just a couple evenings weekly I dont smoke it all the time.
I am not causing trouble but they say I cross the line.
They think i'm acting badly but I think im acting fine.
Government came and they stolen all my Ganga. Flickadoo-da-deh
Now Iv got to spend some more to buy some more from the drug man. And you hear them say.
There's No point to legalise it, It would send the world into crisis.
They're waging a war that has had its day.
They're making it illegal now the moneys with the thug.
they always seem remorseful bout the normal folk they bug.
I say it is a plant and they say it is a drug.
Always watching over me and treat me like a mug.
I profess to be an advocate of moderate use.
I do not condone excesses I do not condone abuse.
But freedom to act in a positive way.
Sometimes burn the Ganga herb no matter what they say.
Government came and they stolen all my Ganga. Flickadoo-da-deh
Now Iv got to spend some more to buy some more from the drug man. And you hear them say.
There's No point to legalise it, It would send the world into crisis.
They're waging a war that has had its day. Flickadoo da dey
They're waging a war that has had its day. And you hear them say
They're waging a war that has had Its day
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Ukulele Vagabond Plymouth, UK
Musician, teacher, multi-instrumentalist and general ukulele enthusiast. The Ukulele Vagabond has two albums with genres of
music as diverse as hip hop, reggae, country, blues, folk, calypso and much more.
His themes range from social justice to comedy to lifestyle and love for nature.
... more
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